Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen

August 14, 2008 8:34 p.m.

Nobody Knows the Trouble I See……

Several have emailed or texted me to ask why I was still pissed off and as always, I feel that writing is a way to release the tension and anger that I feel at that time, so let me share with you what has happened and why my world has been turned upside down- that is for the moment because like the phoenix- still I rise!

Anyway, pushing the bullcorn aside, as I’ve shared before I was looking forward to returning to work this school year because I have so many things that I want to share and do with my students! I’ve talked to many over the summer and it has really fired me up! Well, on last Friday, I went to the school to get a jump start on locating my things so I could get started. I couldn’t find a thing!!! My students who still “hang” with my told me that they saw my stuff animals in the hallway the other week but as we walked the halls, I couldn’t find a thing! I let it ride.

After we got out of our session on Monday, I went looking for my things AGAIN. We were told that all of our things were placed in a the old auto mechanic shop. Well we couldn’t get in. So I decided to wait till the next day. You know by this time I was totally PISSED OFF! Well on Tuesday, I finally got in the shop and I only found two bags and my dry erase boards!!!! I was hot! So, I spent the rest of the day in tears. On Wednesday, I walked the building with the lead custodian and I was able to locate my printer, the three computers from my after school program and possibly my computer. That made me 25% better.
I wasn’t feeling the “love” from the APs, so I went directly to the principal and explained what was going on. He told me what had happened over the summer and that those items were possibly taken to the warehouse or thrown out, but he was gracious and empathic to tell me he was sorry that it had happened and to write down everything that I could remember that I’m missing and he’s going to do his best to help me replace things. That made me feel about 50% better BUT there is still a void; let me tell you why.

What I am missing is MORE than just some teaching materials that I’ve collected within the past two years- It’s what I have gathered in the past 11 years!!!!! What is more upsetting is the fact that I did what I was told by the Plant Operator. He told me that they were moving my room that day, (Monday after school ended.) So, I, along with my co-worker from Jones H.S., his wife and grandchildren, packed up room-EVERYTHING in my room. We put locks on the cabinets and taped up the other file cabinets as well as my desk with things in it. I labeled EVERYTHING that was movable AND I put signs on EVERYTHING with my name AND my cell phone number stating that if I am needed to come and help move my room PLEASE call. That DID NOT HAPPEN! They packed the things that were in the closet and placed them in bags; which by the way they broke some things. Evidently, the other stuff was taken out with all of the other things being moved from the third floor to make room for the new school.

I feel as if part of my life is gone for you see, there were personal things among those items such as my stuff animals, which have value to me because my former principal and former students had given them to me; pictures of my son, grandson and students as well as other tokens given to me by my students and parents. My Georgie Award from the Ensemble Theatre and all of my space shuttles and astronauts are gone. I used those every school year when we do introductions the first two days of class. Now a few of those things I can replace, but what I have no hope of recreating are the documents that show how many professional development hours I have had accumulated the past two years! You ask why is that important? Well, let me tell you why- in 2011 I have to provide documents showing the number of hours of professional development that I have in order to renew my certification. I need 500 hours. The documents that I can not find proved that I had over 150 hours for the past two years!!! All of that isn’t on the system, so now I have to try to make those hours up. My certification determines whether or not I keep my job!

I’m missing the teacher’s desk, two school cabinets full of materials as well as my personal file cabinet and clear buckets with supplies in it. I’m missing three personal book cases, trash can and A LOT of supplies to make my room “print rich” which include letters, border, print cartridges, construction paper, pencils, pens and other creative art supplies; books that I used to do activities and for improvement because I’m constantly trying to better myself as a teacher.

It’s going to take me awhile to get things back the way that I had them. It is a goal to try to improve as the years go by and this was my year to take it to a whole different level- that’s why I was so excited about returning to work. At this point, I feel like a brand new teacher who has to pull together resources so that my students won’t suffer.
Yes, I was pissed off on Monday, cried on Tuesday, barely day there on Wednesday but I’m thankful to God that I began to rebuild on today. When I woke up this morning, I asked God to renew my mind and to give me a better attitude as I went to work. I asked Him to make things better for me so that I don’t whine and complain and feel sorry for myself. I prayed that He would fire me back up so I can get back on track and be ready for the 25th. I have one more call to make and hopefully that will bring me the results that I HOPE for; but to prepare me for what may not be the best. I’ll mourn the lost of my personal things; I can’t help it because that’s just the human side of me and its been a VERY emotional summer for me so any little thing sends me into tears, but I know that “my God shall provide all my needs according to His riches,” and I’ll be able to ask Him for the what I need as long as I am abiding in His word. I’ve been trying hard to put everything into the proper perspective by not valuing things that I can’t take with me into eternality.

So to wrap this up, I’m thankful to God for the blessing of even going through this because it once again allows me to fully trust and depend on Him for my needs. It also is going to allow me to tap a little deeper into my creative side to ensure that my students aren’t walking into a bare room on the 25th and that we’ll be able to do our creative arts on day one to begin our school year with a bang. I know that a lot of folks are worried about the test and whether or not the students will maintain and/or rise to the occasion to make our school recognized, but I’m concerned as well about making life long learners who are capable, able and equipped to be productive citizens. Yes, I looking for a 90% when the test scores come back in May but I know that it is so much more than that. Thanks for your concerns and prayers- I really appreciate it and I’ll keep you informed as my students make progress and they WILL make progress.

Be Blessed!! 10:06 p.m.